Tuesday, May 13, 2014

The Stars' Necessity

When we are tired it can be hard to see what it is that we need.  But sometimes if we simply go to the practice room, walk into the doe-chang, open the blank page, we can give ourselves the opportunity to unfold.  Inspiration is not something that we can control.  Becoming would not be so miraculous if it we could schedule its arrival.  But if we do not ask, it certainly will not be emerge from us.  It is a pulling out from within.  Something new from the person to which we think we are closest:  ourselves.

How do we know that we have done enough for the day?  Sometimes, when we are tired, it seems that what is best is to go home, to rest.  But sometimes devotion can dissolve the feeling of being tired.  After a day of orchestra rehearsals, our quartet thought it was too much to have another.  But we decided to stick to the schedule and read the second movement of a Beethoven quartet.  And in that extra pocket of curiosity and loyalty, we found something really beautiful.  A new way to interact with one another and the chance to touch the genius of Beethoven with our own voices and imagination.  A pulling out at the end of a long day.

What more exists within us?  What more can we discover if we ask a little further?  What may come to us with a little more effort, with a little more sacrifice of comfort?  It can be terrifying to imagine what we may be capable of doing.

And even in this endeavor, the path of discovering the extent to which we are capable, we can only bring ourselves to the door and keep asking ourselves to ask.  Asking ourselves to give.  We are only human, but we are capable of trying–for ourselves and for the sake of others.

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