The coming year occurs to me more and more. Senioritis is sinking in and the signs of gradual detachment which will buffer the change are becoming more prominent. Last night I started to think of some of the possibilities for life after Japan. Living in a big city, living in a smaller city, living in a town, living on the coast, or the midwest. In my current life, I have free days and during those days I practice and exercise and read, and usually speak to no one. I can't imagine a life after Japan that will have free days like this for me, regardless of where I end up being. Most likely the coming year will involve more involvement.
Sometimes from Facebook, I piece together the busy lives of my friends back in the States, teaching, performing, balancing family, getting jobs, getting different jobs. I feel a little out of practice but also very eager to jump in again. I see their faces and they seem so foreign. Is that where I belong? Will I somehow merge with that life? Is there a place for me there or will I be able to create one?
Life seems so vast. Maybe it always does on the edge of change. Before I came to Japan I remember frequently falling asleep imagining that I was lying face up floating on the ocean's surface. But now my mind is full of possibilities, so many things that I could be and do when I grow up and move away from this Never Never Land.