This week we are performing a concert with the concertmaster of the Philadelphia Orchestra. He's leading a reduced string chamber orchestra for Dvorak's Serenade for Strings and a few of us are lucky enough to being playing Tchaikovsky's Souvenir de Florence for string sextet with him. Incredible.
After 10 months of almost exclusive orchestral playing, I'm realizing how out of shape I am as a chamber musician. Mr. Kim asked me to lead more with my sound as the second cellist in the sextet and I find myself having to connect with a new sound concept, a new level of overtly expressive playing, a voice of insistance and leadership, of self-assuredness. And how will I use this voice?
As an orchestral musicians, I feel that I am constantly concerned with listening, blending, playing in tune and in time. But I never lead with my sound. No one ever asks me to enjoy the control I can have with my vibrato or the speed of my bow. And so I've stopped practicing them in my everyday sound concept. I've lost touch with this part of my playing. It pushes more buttons inside of me to have to more clearly define my sound identity and how I use it to shape music. I must not only listen, but speak. It's a true feeling of growth. Chamber music is so incredible. I feel like it takes me to the edge of my capacity to listen, to think, to understand, to feel, to communicate, to connect. I don't think I'll ever get to the bottom of it.
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