Changes of seasons are always a challenge for me. They are the most beautiful times of the year, fall and spring, but they are times of readjusting, of changing to a different gear, adapting to a new measure of sunlight. I think there is something physical to this, the body preparing for winter, maybe altering its metabolism in some way. I haven't read anything on this, but it's something that after several years of living I seem to have noticed as a general trend.
As the body and mind readjust, I often feel a period of relative weakness, something unsettled, a foundation evolving. This seems both physical and mental. Sleep seems different with the changing sunrise and sunset, and sometimes I feel more tired. The light changes; there is both less of it and the nature of its strength is different. It can be a relief after the powerful, sometimes overwhelming light and heat of summer, but with the loss of light, life starts to recede in its annual way, and I find myself sometimes a little more reflective than focused.
What is weakness? Our Tae Kwon Do teacher once asked us if we were strong. It was a reflection. He encouraged anyone who answered to themselves, no, to think again. There are those that have a natural strength in their bodies. Something in their genes, something in their upbringing, perhaps in their youth, that has endowed them with the ability to lift more, to move faster, to show more power. But is it really stronger to be strong? What is strength?
Sometimes the world seems overbearing. Sometimes it is very, very heavy. Impossible. Sometimes we have to retreat, to reflect, and that's ok. But our strength is still there. I think it is from these times that I have the strength that I have.
The leaves are just starting to change here, the air is still warm, there is a long way until winter, which comes before spring.