Laban in Japan

What is sincere communication?

Do I know what I'm saying when I speak and do I really listen when others speak?   Or have our words fallen into such a predictable pattern that we speak in parallel lines, never intersecting?

Tonight we had our first concert at HPAC.  It was a string chamber orchestra concert and we played in a recital hall which surrounded our tightly packed stage with a tightly packed audience.   We all entered together, rather than warming up individually on stage, and the affect was that we and the audience met each other in our entirety.  I looked out to a sea of beautiful Japanese faces, waiting to share something with us in such close proximity.

Why is music important?  What is it that makes people come to hear us and what is it that makes us want to play?

In daily conversations, there are certain words and phrases and breeches of privacy which are appropriate, and others that are not.  Are we listening, or just filling in the space?  Is it enough or do we want more?

I think that people want more.  I think they want to know one another and to be known.  But it is so confusing, all the words that define us so inaccurately.  The words that make us think that a day was good or bad, or that we or other people are one way or another.  For the sake of clarity we have created a black and white space with our words and we communicate through it, but how can this satisfy our inner needs which are far more nuanced?

I feel like most of my endeavors in life have some impetus from wanting to be closer to people.  I will always occupy my own body and be myself and nothing can physically change that fact.  I can be no other than me.  But I have always been curious about other people.  I even remember when I was very little, wanting to be another person, just out of curiosity.  What is it like?  Who are the people around us?

It is a privilege to be a musician, especially in a time when I am struggling to communicate through language with the people around me.  Language is so valuable; but in the face of the power of music, I am reminded of its shortcomings and abuses.  I want to learn Japanese, but tonight reminded me that I can cultivate a sincere communication with those who want to listen.  And I can listen to them listening.  I can listen to them wanting and needing a deeper sense of belonging than daily language can express, transcending the space between one person and another.